Life Passing By

5/6/10

Whilst I was mopping the house.. I suddenly stopped and stood there for a moment and began to think of what had happened in my love life;

The stupid things I'd say, the stupid things I'd do - all for love, and in the end, I am the one heart broken.

I have had complaints from people because of who I am. My friends have accepted who I am, why can't those people? So now I wonder if I really give a fuck about these complaints. Accept me, and you're my friend and you will realize that I am more trustworthy than the way I seem to act.

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5/6/10

I sat there at the Atheltics Carnival, talking to Frank about gaming and then I realized how repetitive our lives are.

As a child, I crawled around the neighbourhood, picking up and putting stuff in my mouth. And this was all that happened each day.

As a four year old, I would go to pre school, telling stories and dancing with the other kids. Then I'd go home and practice my handwriting each night and even as my friends called me out to play with them, I would still sit there and study. I have changed a lot, and I wish I was more like that.

As a six year old after movin ginto Australia, I would lie on the bed each day and play with my toys and turn into my very own imaginary world. There was no hand writing to practice. Already, I have changed.

As an eight year old I would sit there and play my Gameboy each day, stopping this imaginary world of me more and more as each day passes. I have changed.

As a ten year old, I would stick to the comp playing on children CD games and it was like this for a long time. I have changed.

As a twelve year old I would get into Internet but that didn't last long cos it got cut, but I got it again last year. Online games. I have changed.

Now I would sit here and play games with my friends and type into this blog.

Ten more years later or so, I would go to work or something.

And by that time, I would look back and say 'What waste of time I have done back then, I would have been better off helping parents or ready'.

Then if I ever do make it to my sixties+ I would look back again each day and stare at the life that has gone by so quickly. Once again, I would say what a waste of time, going to work every day, eat, sleep and then repeat.

Life and change is such a bitch, yet we all have to accept it.

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20/4/10

Swimming carnival... yes that happened quite some time ago.. but as part of this post.. life does seem to go by so quickly..

I was sitting there under the shade with the guys.. listening to some songs.. And it just made me realize how time had gone so fast..

I still rememebered the time I was in year 7.. going to the swimming carnival.. messing around as usual.

This year was so different.. and it only made realize that 2 years had gone past.. There are new people in seniors and this had a massive impact on the way I acted this year..

It wasn't the same.. I didn't know any of the year 12s.. so I was left out D:

So now I'm in year 9.. and 2 years have gone by so quickly.. next year I'll be in year 10.. and the homework I get is already a pain in the ass.

So year 10.. there'll be new year 12s.. and then year 11 :O. Strangely that number seems so big!!! Once again, there'll be new year 12s.. AND THEN YEAR 12. OMFG We are the year 12 this time... 2 years went by so quickly.. and another 2 years is going to go by again..

And for the next couple a years... I think I'll be sitting under the same shade.. listening to the same songs.. thinking about the previous years that have gone by so quickly..

Time is so powerful and unstoppable.. it turns even the most beautiful to the ugliest..
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3/4/10

There's a tree in front of my house (don't know what it's called)...

As I walked to and from Warwick Farm station, I see a much larger version of that tree in front of my house...

I stare at it each day for 10 seconds.. and it makes me think...

When I was 6, this tree was so small and there was no flowers..

Today, I stand in my front yard, staring at the same tree, only larger and now, it has flowers. It made me realize how fast time had went.. from the I was only 6, staring that tree, until now, a 14 year old, staring at the same tree... at the same spot..

And in 5 years time, I will be standing at that same spot.. staring at that same tree only it'll be much larger and more beautiful. And by then, I'll be much larger too, standing there staring..

And it seems.... all this happens in the blink of an eye..

If I should.. then I would die with the memories I have right now.

The time that passes..

A blog for Diana, and anyone else who is willing to read this.

For more blogs please put me into a depressed state :), and to me, depression makes me smile.

Lets start off by saying what term and week we are in at school. At the moment I am blogging this, it is week 6, Monday 8:30 p.m. WEEK 6, and I emphasise that. I've just been having talks with friends lately, and they all say that they couldn't believe that it's nearly half a year already...

It's nearly June (My Birthday ^^) and well... I have nothing better to say about it other than that.. Thinking of all these stuff always lead to another thing. Amazing huh? Here's what I started off with. Birthday and now some depressing points in which should not be revealed here. No presents this year and even if someone did offer, I don't think I will accept it. I'm turning 15, and if I looked back, I was saying to myself 'Can't wait till I'm 15+'. And here we are today, sitting by this computer nearly 15 and you know what? I regret it.. but you can't help it.

So as I said, Week 6 Monday. The other day my parents said that they'll be getting my Grandma over here from Vietnam, which once again makes me think of other memories. I could only remember that it was just last year that my Grandma came over here for 3 months. At that time I told myself 'Three months is a lot and that'll never pass'. Once again, here we are and it's already gone. It was.. so.. fast.. And then my parents mentioned how she was coming over for 6 months now. I told myself again that it will be like forever but then I realised what happened the last time I said that - time just flew by. So 6 months also led me into thinking that it'll be the end of the year and then I'll be in year 10. Year 10 led me into thinking that it was the year in which I met Andy.. and look at him.. he's in Uni now. Get the message I'm saying? It's been 2 years in this High School and it just went just like that.

When thinking of the two years, I remember when I was in year 7 and I miss that. I miss the old selves people still had. I miss the people who were still at this school. Two years and there are all these changes. But that is part of my secret life that some people MAY know ;). I regret the actions I've made in year 7. I regret going to this school, not that I cannot say that I love these people :L.

So you see.. my mind can get very confusing.. all these 'lead to this' and 'lead to that' it gets confusing, but if you do it, I think it'll make you smile.

I do this when I'm depressed and those good memories make me TRULY smile, which is something the crazy Henry you see cannot do. I truly smile at the memories I had, the old people who were in it, and I only wish to redo it and add a few changes to it to see what happens.

Bound forever

A Little Reminder On How To Live A Good Life

If I had my life to live over,
I’d try to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax, I would limber up,
I would be crazier than I’ve
Been on this trip. I know very few things I’d
Take seriously any more.
I would take more chances,
I would take more trips, I would scale more
Mountains, I would swim more rivers,
And I would watch more sunsets. I would eat
More ice cream and fewer beans. I would have
More actual troubles and fewer imaginary
Ones. You see… I was one of those people who
Lived prophylactically and sensibly
And sanely, hour after hour and day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments
And if I had to do it all over again, I’d have
Many more of them.
In fact, I’d try not to have anything else, just
Moments, one after another, instead of living
So many years ahead of my day.
I’ve been one of those people who never went
Anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water
Bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had it to do all over again, I’d travel
Lighter, much lighter than I have.
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring,
And I’d stay that way later in the fall.
And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and
Catch more gold rings, and greet more people,
And pick more flowers, and dance more often.
If I had it to do all over again.
But you see,
I don’t.

Credits

Found it on this site

http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://razorfamilyfarms.com/wp-content/uploads/inspiring.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.dreambank.org/blog/%3Fm%3D200905&usg=__bIkFG0Qw4aXK5mrhVbQGZM0aCVA=&h=500&w=333&sz=78&hl=en&start=1&sig2=puDlXdJAY7bK1iB93lhpsA&itbs=1&tbnid=Tok6u0bFdN1HKM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dinspiring%2Bimages%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=TM6pS7TyJ9GHkQWsy8DcAQ

Idea Drunk, which had originally been published in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. It’s from an 84 year old man who’s dying.

It was night, the Master woke up only to find his Disciple crying.

Master: What's the matter? Did you have a horrible dream?

Disciple: No.

Master: Was the dream you had sad?

Disciple: No Master, the dream I had was the most sweetest and most lovely dream I ever had..

Master: Then why are you crying?

Disciple: Because the dream I had will never come true...

War or not.. What's the difference?

Yays.. Finally a post..?

World War I, World War II.. All these wars.. What's next? World War III of course.. but is there going to be one? That's not my point here.. But what's World War III going to bring out of this world? How's it going to make it better?

I've got to say it'll decrease the population (that seriously helps) but otherwise, what are the other benefits?

Let's really think about what I said..

If there was to be a World War III, a lot of people would be killed. One of the races should be wiped out (Asians etc..). Get the picture? That's not the main point here though. If there was a World War III, the world WILL NOT be the same..

We, as humans have created a flow which is being disrupted by the increasing population. I'm talking about jobs here. Sure, there would be more spots for jobs, but then after the war would happen, we would obviously be in a recovery state, where nothing will go as smoothly as usual.

Like I said before, a race would be wiped out. Think about it.. If Asia did get destroyed, where will we get our cheap imports? And recovering from destroyed areas would take hundreds of years.

Remember the European settlement in Australia? It's something like that, only people are much more lazy nowadays, so I can't really see how they are willing to put up that much effort into a destroyed area.

Overall, I would say World War III would really get people off their butts, and it'll reduce the population. Even so, I still believe that the world would find it rather hard to recover from this.

So having war is bad.. but what about peace? Is THAT good or bad..

As explained in my other posts, you could sum it up as BAD.

Look at the amount of people being born each day compared to the amount that dies each day.

The rate of birth is much larger than that of the rate of death.

And to reduce the death numbers, we are trying to make everything safer. Sure that sounds good.. Noone dies.. But has anyone really thought about the outcomes? Yes I know, I worry too much about the future, but look at it. Don't you think we've relaxed enough? They say the world is going to go through Global Warming. Did we care when it was 2002 or maybe sometime even later? I don't think so.

So War isn't good and neither is peace..

My final topic of this post are hippies..

I fancy them :) yet, now that I'm older, and with the way I think, I begin to dislike them more and more.

I have to credit them, for the fact that they are willing to use their time and prevent people from killing animals. But like I said before, we've relaxed too much. And by the time we realise there's something wrong, it's SORTA too late..

On the other hand, hippies have tried to the Government and other large groups of people from murdering people for stupid reasons. Yeah, that's good, but where has that really led us?

That's why I have mentioned about the world's population before.. It's just so large and I think I should stop here, before I rewrite one of my own posts..

I sum this post up as this;

War will do us no good..
Neither will peace...

People will die from war...
Yet people will still die from peace...

The world's gunna die by either of these actions...
But humans will do anything to survive

Yet strangely, this anything still leads to doom
O.O"

My Nightmares And My Depression

Amazing.. Nightmares.. Dreams.. Such wonderful things.

Today, I woke up at around 4 am and couldn't manage to sleep again until for an hour or so. Within this time it had made me think a lot.

Now why did I even wake up at 4 am in the morning?

I don't know.. I felt so happy yet so sad at the same time..

It was a nightmare or dream.

Within that nightmare, I was able to let go of all the anger that I had kept in me. It felt good.. But I had paid a massive price for that. This massive price had led me to being depressed. Of course, in the end, somehow I managed to smile and laugh, thanks to my friends.

That's right.. You could say that 'friends' is the main topic of this blog.

In my opponion, the best friends you could ever get are the ones in high school - where you will share most of your experiences in camps, classes, lunches, etc.

The best friend you could ever get is the one that you can look for when you are in trouble. One that understands you. My friends don't really understand me, but they cheer me up even at the worse occasions. Maybe that's probably who I am.

Back to the dream.

So I had let out all my anger, and someone was badly injured. Then I had lost something very important to me. But when I was walking in the fields, I saw my friend Richard and Frank, and they woke me up from that nightmare..

I don't know but, this could be a sign for me :).

All I can say is, a good friend is one that you can rely on when you are in trouble. It's just that you shouldn't stab them in the back for any reason.

Moving onto the next topic of this blog, mainly my feelings..

Recently, I have been unable to sleep properly.. Why? I do believe that I am suffering from depression.

I have had fatigue and tiredness on very random occasions, and even, headaches. Even right now as I am typing this, I begin to feel dizzy.

I'm beginning to feel worried about myself. I can't sleep, I can't eat very well.

If you haven't noticed, I do not eat much except an apple at school.
I skip breakfast in the morning, and the only thing I usually have is dinner. Sounds fun aye? Strangely, I don't feel hungry at all..

All I ever do is sit there, and think about the worst that could happen.

Maybe I just worry tooooooooo much.

I have the fear of hurting others, and the fear of losing the ones I love.