More Memories of Vietnam

Every time I return to Vietnam for a vacation, more and more people disappear from my life. More and more people remain only in my memories. Eventually, I'll have nothing but memories of people. I feel disconnected from my cousins already, and it seems as if in the future, I won't even know where my cousins are in Vietnam.

Anyways, my great grandma died due to heart failure. She was 98.
I hear my parents always fending her from people telling her off back in Vietnam. She doesn't have any teeth, imagine that. It's really hard to eat.

My grandma was diagnosed with bowel cancer. She made it through, but it's been extremely rough, especially with all the possible lies the people make in Vietnam for money. It's sorta sickening. She's still alive, but I don't know how long. I will miss her. There's a tradition in the Vietnamese culture, and I'm sure it's like this for many other cultures. This tradition requires the woman who gets married to live with the mother-in-law's house. I've lived a great life in her house while in Vietnam, but I cannot say the same for my mum. It is my mum that's put the blood and sweat into raising me, so I don't really know who's side I'm on. Anyways, I hope my grandma the best remaining life and I hope I see her soon. There's this song that kindergarten kids sing. I remember it quite well and it goes:

"Bà ơi bà, chắu yêu bà lắm.
Tóc bà trắng mà trằng như mây.
Chắu yêu bà, chắu nặm bàn tay.
Khi chắu vâng lời, chắu biết bà vui."

And it translates into:
Grandma, grandma, I love you very much.
Your hair is white, white like the clouds.
I love you, I hold your hands.
When I listen to you, I know you're happy.

And then there's my grandma-in-law. She's had heart problems and got surgery last year. She said she wanted to die so that we didn't have to spend so much money. She made it through, and I wish her the very best of luck too.

One of my uncles died a few weeks ago due to high blood pressure. He was drinking wine with some friends, when he suddenly fell down. My mum tells me how hard-working this man is, and I know, cos I see it in his son. Whenever there was a task, this man was around. Whether it was renovating the house, building one or just normal tasks. He didn't use a lot of money. He didn't like the idea of having to borrow from others. Although he had a family, he had this idea that only he could count on himself. And it's true, that's all he could. He was a lonely man living in a world by himself. My mum said she'd send him some money by the end of the year. That's not possible any more. She said how grateful the guy was when she said that. I remember, once, I had this bamboo stick. I was on the stairs and it accidentally slipped out of my hands and it fell to the first floor. My uncle was lying there sleeping and it just missed him. Thank fucking god, no joke. My mum told me a story:

My uncle, Vân, was helping out with the houses or something. My other uncle bought some wine and shared it with the other works. My uncle Vân didn't get any of that, nor was he even invited. His hard work is never appreciated. Rest in peace Uncle.

And I've mentioned this lady before. She's like my next door neighbour. The 2nd last time I went back to Vietnam, I remember her yelling at for sparing a mouse, instead of killing it. Mice in Vietnam was a huge pest. The last time I came back, she was blind. All she does is sit around now or sleep. It made a tear fall out of my eyes - how much people were changing, how people are so different now.

People just keep passing away, and I can't help it. I don't see them often either. The next time I go back, more faces will disappear and more will change.

Moving onto some memories.

I remember when it was Chinese New Year, I went to my grandma-in-law and she gave me red pocket. I remember the house back then vaguely. It had a straw roof, cement floors - the type you'd sorta find on the roads.

I remember another time, when I went to my grandma-in-law's house for dinner. We sat outside on the verandah in the cool weather. We crouched around and ate, with only a lamp to illuminate the darkness.

That's it for now.