The existence of this blog

Lately.. I've been questioning the existence of this blog.

First post was on the2nd of November 2009. That's.. 4 years ago when I was in year 8.

A lot of shit happened near the end of year 7 and it moved on into year 8 and so. I can't quite remember the events which happened during this time.

I've always thought how.. depressing we are and how helpless we are as humans in saving ourselves but I'd never thought of sharing these ideas with others.. o.o

There must have been a good reason though.. I think I was really pissed with something. I'd never thought my views towards this world would be.. that bad..

But really..  I feel quite sad all of a sudden sometimes about this place I live in.
And you know.. the way I feel it helps me believe that there once was a man who became the Buddha but at the same time I question how his teachings work.

I'm an introvert and I don't know the reasons as to why. But.. when I do go out..usually bad things happen.

I think it's just better if I stay home and don't hurt others or myself. That part is entirely true.
When I do go out, I see homeless people but I have this mindset of being helpless. What can I do about it?

There is this one particular homeless man (I believe he's homeless) that I see quite often at Cabramatta. On a rainy night, I saw him sitting by himself under little shelter eating some dessert-rice thing for dinner. I hope it was just dessert after a proper dinner, I really do. And that's all I can do right? Hope.

But I usually come to a sad conclusion that what I see is what there is. I can't say the man is feeling miserable right?

It's all a conflict. And somehow.. I believe so is this blog.