Why can’t I get over my ex?

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201310/why-can-t-i-get-over-my-ex%3famp

It’s a good read and well written. Thanks

My siblings

Many people often wonder why I gotta do so much for my siblings.

I was laying in bed and started crying suddenly. I remembered the times I wasn’t treated properly.

For me, I think I want to give my siblings something that that never had: someone to be there for them. To tell them it’s alright, do your best.

Especially my little brother. When I look at him, I see another chance. When I look at him, I see myself. And I’m given a second chance to guide him so that he turns out into what I wanted to be.
For me, I feel like it’s too late to have what I want. So instead, I’ll do my best to make sure that he doesn’t get hurt.

What is happiness?

What is happiness? I'm trying to find and understand what it is.

Clearly, what I had in mind is extremely different with what my parents had in mind. And yet they keep forcing me do things their way.

It makes me question myself all the time. What the actual fuck is happiness?

Here we go again

Parents pushing me to get a girlfriend, get a job blah blah blah. Life just feels really rushed and I don't seem to have the time to slow it down even a little bit to enjoy/explore it.

It's not like I haven't had girlfriend(s) before. They just don't know it and they keep acting like I don't know shit. But the truth is. I do know. And it hurts.Every damn time I'm reminded of it.

There's always this moment of spark that tells me to talk to that girl. But then I think it's futile. What really is the point of it all?

I've been there, done that but I know it doesn't suck.

Every time I think of relationships I'm reminded: What's good about me?

Cos you know. I've been questioned exactly that. What's good about me?
I've asked a girl. What's good about me? They said I don't know. Maybe sometimes you like someone just because. Who knows.

I've been told by a girl. I can list many things about you that I don't like about you, but I don't know why I still like you.

And those words hurt in a way. In a profound way. A way that makes me question everyday. What makes a good person? What makes them likeable? What makes them attractive? What separates you from me.

I honestly don't know. Just gunna leave Michael's new song before the end of this post. From what google translate tells me, it's meant to be a positive outlook on life and loneliness. Taking those moments of self time to enjoy those brief moments in life each day. But it just sounds so sad...