Nearly there

This blog.. nearly 6 years old.. so many memories.

I will keep holding onto it.

Chinese Valentine Day is coming soon.
Lots of memories held in this blog.
Some blog entries seem empty and useless, but there's always more to it.

I hope maybe look back I can recall some feelings.

If that was me

Then I'd walk the hell out of the door.
On the contrary, I think a lot of people would too but...

There are some people with guts though, and they'd just sit down and talk.
(That's what actually happened in the anime).
Maybe 'guts' ain't the right word.
Perhaps, it's the right thing to do when you want to fight for the girl you love?

But then again, these two guys wouldn't even be considered friends so maybe that made the decision a lot easier for the orange guy (Yusaku)

Autumn.... GINKGO

In an old anime (Maison Ikokku)

06/07/14

So on this day.. two things happened:

There was a gathering sort of thing for me and a party on at the same time.

The gathering was held in Cabramatta and I drove there. I have this really bad habit of looking outside the window whilst driving extremely slowly when I'm near my usual parking space. I stare outside the window to see if there are any homeless people.

It's a really bad habit and I don't know why I feel so compelled to do it. Perhaps there is some feeling of compassion that arises when I look?

There is definitely a feeling of curiosity that arises when I look at homeless people; I want to understand them, know what they've been through and how they feel. Again.. that word.. understanding.

Well in the end of the driving, I didn't see any.. But then I walked up the stairs to the place of the gathering and there, there was a person lying in a corner with some food and scrap in front of them. My excitement of meeting everyone suddenly shattered so quickly. I just feel so torn when I see a homeless person. I don't know why..

The night went on and I tried to forget what I saw. Despite having a nice dinner and joking around with everyone, the thought lurked in the back of my mind. "I'm sitting here in a nice and fun environment with companions and there is a person up there all alone". I wondered if anyone else noticed at all.

Anyways, the dinner ended at around 10 and I was getting call from other friends to attend the party I sort of promised I'd attend.

And so I went and arrived but the party ended just as I arrived. Every one was drunk even one of my closest friends.. dead drunk. He didn't even notice that I had arrived. Sitting there, being one of the very few that were sober felt weird.

A sense of duty and responsibility arose inside me.. The gathering with one group of people, it was work related and every one was quite mature. On the other hand, we had a party of people going crazy. My close friend went nuts and I felt as if I could have stopped him. It made me feel somewhat guilty. I felt torn.. how do I transition into a responsible person without losing myself?

In between these events, there was some traveling I had to do. And in all that time.. I was alone. When I'm alone, I think a lot. Walking around in Cabramatta alone brought back a lot of memories.
I wanted to feel sad but I felt it wasn't right of me to do so.
And when you look around at the night sky, everything seems so perfect and then you look at yourself. You feel like crap compared to everything else around you.
I don't just do this when I'm walking alone in Cabramatta.. I also tend to do it when I'm taking out the bin at home.
Is there someone out there who is also looking at the night sky? What are they thinking when they look up?
Perhaps I look up because I hope for something. I think.. every time I look up I gaze at how perfect it is and question how imperfect I am (and maybe even mankind). I want to understand more.. and why can't others understand more?

Maison Ikkoku

Lac Duong

Vietnamese music videos, a bit cliched.

I wouldn't say the language itself is that charming......

But that smile on the guy's face in the end.. Seems somewhat.. genuine..

(This is the music video for the lyrics I recently posted up)

Fool

There's something about his songs. One could say that they don't sound good at first

But there is something addicting to them.
They're very nostalgic for sure..

Captures the feelings of a teenager perhaps?

Sometimes, I just want to be a teenage fool. Let me be the teenage fool. Let me think like one.

Haven't listened to one of these in a while

Em đã từng nói nhịp tim Em sẽ chỉ đập cùng nhịp với Anh
Và chẳng một ai có thể thay thế được cảm giác đó
Anh biết Em chỉ nói thế thôi, để Anh thấy yên lòng
Nhưng thật ra Anh biết Em đang nghĩ gì

Anh đã sẵn sàng tâm lý, trước khi Em nói lời chia tay
Và Anh đã vội vàng đánh thức, thôi con tim đừng mộng mơ nữa
Sao nó vẫn luôn kêu gào, trong giấc mơ ồn ào
Và dường như lý trí của Anh, thất bại trước con tim

Điều Em đã từng nói với Anh những gì đó sao giờ đây Em chẳng thể làm được
Kỷ niệm vây kín căn phòng Anh với nỗi nhớ Anh như muốn thét lên thật to
Một tình yêu sai chỗ, một khao khát lạc đường
Vô tình chạm vào trong trái tim Anh

Ngày mai Anh sẽ đi thật xa đi về nơi sẽ không còn thấy Em trong cuộc đời
Vì Anh không muốn những hình ảnh cứ gợi lên bao nhiêu nhớ thương về Em
Hãy cứ xem như ta là một người quen biết
Vô tình lướt qua đời nhau!

You used to say that your heartbeat, it will only beat with me
And there isn't a single person who could change that feeling
I know you only said that so that I would not worry
But in truth, I knew you were thinking of something else

I prepared my mind before you said you words of parting
And I woke up shocked, heart please stop wishing and dreaming
Why does it keep yearning in the nightmare
It seems I cannot be rational with my unreasonable heart

You used to tell me of your intentions and feelings for me, but now you can't keep/do them
Memories that are unbearably sealed inside me, I just want to scream out loud
Love, not in the right place; a person who is lost
Somehow, rams into my heart.

Tomorrow I will depart and leave for a place where I cannot see you in my life
I don't want those memories to make me remember how much I miss you
Keep seeing me as someone you used to know
Whose path accidentally crossed yours.

Have you

Have you ever had any one fight for you...?