Friday, August 22, 2014

最孤獨的孤獨

不確定就別親吻 感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠 愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍

你留下來的垃圾 我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

還我鑰匙的備份 我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束

你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨

你如果很幸福 半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處 我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨

最孤獨的孤獨

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Human Mind..

Where to begin.. as always.. It's always a problem of finding the right place to begin.
And again like always.. I do think about these things a lot and they uhh... "accumulate" over time and maybe when I'm slightly down I like to get it all out.

So in chronology I guess.

On a sudden weekend, I felt like eating Pizza. I probably eat pizza once every year or something.
My dad didn't really know any shops so he took me to this really dodgy looking one on the side of roads on the Hume Highway near Warwick Farm/Liverpool.

I really hesitated to buy from the shop. It was empty and the owner was sitting in the kitchen all by himself. He looked Italian. I wondered what he was thinking. I looked at the different size pizzas and ordered two large. 15 dollars each.. Quite expensive. Is it? I'm not sure. I thought it was. He didn't offer delivery and it was a 20 minute waiting time so dad decided to pick up mum from Cabramatta first before picking up the pizzas.
I was quite worried. I ordered the pizzas and didn't get the receipt so I wondered if he was going to scam me.
Anyways, we made a run around Cabramatta, picked up my mum and then went back to the pizza place.
This time, he was sitting outside the shop talking to what seemed like a friend of his.
"There you are, the pizzas have been waiting" he said (or something like that, I remember very vaguely)
He went inside and grabbed the two pizzas for me.
But the most important thing that struck out to me were these last words when he handed me the pizzas:
"Thank you my friend".
He said so in such a honest and genuine matter. My mind was startled by how sincere his words were. And I still and probably will always remember these words.
The pizza wasn't at all that bad. I was very satisfied with how it tasted. His words made me want to keep buying from his shop. I wanted to talk to him and get to know him.

But being me, there had to be negative thoughts. I asked myself, why did he say those words in such a manner.
His shop was empty, no customers. I was the only one. Did he thank me because I helped him a little on the financial side? Was he desperate? It wasn't much.. but he still did sound sincere. However, a huge part of me still strongly believes that those were genuine, sincere words of kindness.
Next time, I'll definitely buy from his shop.

But.. as humans.. I think tend to behave much more friendly towards others when we are in need. When we have all, we forget about others and what they've done for us.

Which leads to the next event.
I've been pretty clumsy. Left my pencil case at University twice.
On the second time, I texted one of my friends to try and pick it up for me.
"Are you still at uni"
"Yeah" he replies.
"Can you grab my pencil case for me"
He doesn't reply till 10 mins later and says that he's near the station which implied that he doesn't want to turn back to get it for me. "I was already half way to the station when I got your message" he said.
Well, I couldn't blame him. It was my lack of responsibility that caused me to lose my pencil case.
But it was a bit upsetting that you couldn't rely on people sometimes.
My mind thought that if I was in his situation, I would turn back to do the favour. But I doubted myself. Would I really? I'm a human being after all.. Would I turn back after I'm half way towards the station to get the pencil case for the person? A big part of me tried to convince myself that I would but I still doubt myself.
Like I said..

We like to ask favours but not do them. But when we do someone a favour and they sincerely say thank you, it means a lot (to me at least).

Which leads to the next train of thought.
Becoming a Doctor.. What does it mean and why do I want to become one?
Well.. one of the reason is because of the words "Thank you".
When I was in Vietnam.. people talked about becoming Doctors. As a Doctor, when you cure someone, they thank you. And it's not just them thanking you, it's their whole family thanking you. And at times, this thank you could last for generations. I'd like to think people do remember good deeds and return them (but it's bad to think of doing good deeds and expecting them to return to you).
But the words thank you.. it means a lot to me.. Somehow.. it tells me there's some faith in humanity, especially when you can hear those words in a genuine sincere voice.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Clannad


Sounds like my type of anime

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day

in China.
I wonder what it's like for them on that day.

On a side note,
A shit tonne has happened lately.

UMAT especially.. has been quite.. a pain.

As corny as it sounds, I prayed in order to do well.
I asked people for Good luck because I'd think every bit of luck could help.
In the end though, it did come down to me.. so I'm hoping I did well..

I'm not just doing it for myself after all.
If I do make it in.. it would be huge self esteem boost (I really need one).
I mean, I am trying to become a doctor for myself and for personal goals.

But ya know, sometimes there are other things that can hit you hard if you fail.
Besides the fact that I would let myself down, I'm also letting my parents down.

Mum has a lot of faith in me and she usually tells me how she has trouble sleeping because of my big exams etc. She worries a lot about me and I especially didn't want to disappoint her.

After all, I can't really remember the last time my mum's been really worried about my sister's exams. Maybe it's cos my exams matter more but I do get this feeling that she does have faith in me but I happen to destroy it every time.

Fingers cross I don't this time. ><