Where to begin.. as always.. It's always a problem of finding the right place to begin.
And again like always.. I do think about these things a lot and they uhh... "accumulate" over time and maybe when I'm slightly down I like to get it all out.
So in chronology I guess.
On a sudden weekend, I felt like eating Pizza. I probably eat pizza once every year or something.
My dad didn't really know any shops so he took me to this really dodgy looking one on the side of roads on the Hume Highway near Warwick Farm/Liverpool.
I really hesitated to buy from the shop. It was empty and the owner was sitting in the kitchen all by himself. He looked Italian. I wondered what he was thinking. I looked at the different size pizzas and ordered two large. 15 dollars each.. Quite expensive. Is it? I'm not sure. I thought it was. He didn't offer delivery and it was a 20 minute waiting time so dad decided to pick up mum from Cabramatta first before picking up the pizzas.
I was quite worried. I ordered the pizzas and didn't get the receipt so I wondered if he was going to scam me.
Anyways, we made a run around Cabramatta, picked up my mum and then went back to the pizza place.
This time, he was sitting outside the shop talking to what seemed like a friend of his.
"There you are, the pizzas have been waiting" he said (or something like that, I remember very vaguely)
He went inside and grabbed the two pizzas for me.
But the most important thing that struck out to me were these last words when he handed me the pizzas:
"Thank you my friend".
He said so in such a honest and genuine matter. My mind was startled by how sincere his words were. And I still and probably will always remember these words.
The pizza wasn't at all that bad. I was very satisfied with how it tasted. His words made me want to keep buying from his shop. I wanted to talk to him and get to know him.
But being me, there had to be negative thoughts. I asked myself, why did he say those words in such a manner.
His shop was empty, no customers. I was the only one. Did he thank me because I helped him a little on the financial side? Was he desperate? It wasn't much.. but he still did sound sincere. However, a huge part of me still strongly believes that those were genuine, sincere words of kindness.
Next time, I'll definitely buy from his shop.
But.. as humans.. I think tend to behave much more friendly towards others when we are in need. When we have all, we forget about others and what they've done for us.
Which leads to the next event.
I've been pretty clumsy. Left my pencil case at University twice.
On the second time, I texted one of my friends to try and pick it up for me.
"Are you still at uni"
"Yeah" he replies.
"Can you grab my pencil case for me"
He doesn't reply till 10 mins later and says that he's near the station which implied that he doesn't want to turn back to get it for me. "I was already half way to the station when I got your message" he said.
Well, I couldn't blame him. It was my lack of responsibility that caused me to lose my pencil case.
But it was a bit upsetting that you couldn't rely on people sometimes.
My mind thought that if I was in his situation, I would turn back to do the favour. But I doubted myself. Would I really? I'm a human being after all.. Would I turn back after I'm half way towards the station to get the pencil case for the person? A big part of me tried to convince myself that I would but I still doubt myself.
Like I said..
We like to ask favours but not do them. But when we do someone a favour and they sincerely say thank you, it means a lot (to me at least).
Which leads to the next train of thought.
Becoming a Doctor.. What does it mean and why do I want to become one?
Well.. one of the reason is because of the words "Thank you".
When I was in Vietnam.. people talked about becoming Doctors. As a Doctor, when you cure someone, they thank you. And it's not just them thanking you, it's their whole family thanking you. And at times, this thank you could last for generations. I'd like to think people do remember good deeds and return them (but it's bad to think of doing good deeds and expecting them to return to you).
But the words thank you.. it means a lot to me.. Somehow.. it tells me there's some faith in humanity, especially when you can hear those words in a genuine sincere voice.
I feel like I can really relate to this as I too appreciate those people who genuinely express gratitude and even go further to use extra words such as 'my friend' because even though you may be strangers and it may not be as significant to them, it still leaves you with that permanent memory of how you felt content.
ReplyDelete"When we have all, we forget about others and what they've done for us." This is absolutely true and yet at the same time it's human.
I think the price of a large pizza varies from each store and would probably guess that most people frequent the well known pizza shops instead, which is why it could be sold for a higher price at that particular shop.
I don't mean to speak disrespectfully of your friend however I would've gone back to get your pencil case, and I'm not just saying that just to seem nice because if I were to empathize, that would've been troublesome for you. Did you end up retrieving it?
Also, at what point do you think we should draw the line when being nice to avoid being used/taken advantage of?
I did end up getting my pencil case. Had to call up security to pick it up for me. was pretty embarrassing (this was the same friend's idea and it made me feel a bit better).
DeleteI've been in a situation where it was very difficult to make a decision.. A friend of mine and I both wanted something that only one of us could have. I don't want to dwell on this story too much but.. in my mind.. a part of me remembered that the friend did a lot for me; he was a good person so I knew he deserved it more. On the the other hand, another part of me told me it was right if I took it. If I took it, would that make me selfish? It's really conflicting.
It bothers me a lot sometimes.. knowing what the best decision is. I over think too much.
I can't really answer your question because I think I'm overtly wary about those around me and what's happening. The situation you gave me is too.. vague, maybe be a bit more precise and I might be able to answer with more depth of my perspective. At the end of the day, it's always good to be nice to people. Do what you think is right because I can't make that judgement for you. The perspective of what's right and wrong varies from person to person.
Btw if you happen to be the CK person, I think I finally found out who you are (if it happens to be your initials). If you are who I think you are, I'm really surprised that you're reading my Blog. Are you who I think it is?
I see it was not right of me to say that about him, especially since he suggested calling security.
DeleteEven if there was an unbiased mediator to help you solve the dilemma, I have a feeling that this was a situation where any decision made would have left you partially unsatisfied. So you're not wrong for over thinking about it as long as it's not affecting your mental health.
I am sure you know that choosing your side is not selfish as long as you consider your friend's view and negotiate with him.
To explain my question more, if you start to realise that someone else is benefiting from you in a way that diminishes yourself, should you stop helping them or is that just being selfish?
Even though it's about our own morals and what you have already advised is fine, I still want to hear your opinion. As for me, I think I'll follow my 'gut instincts'.
I am the CK person but they are not my initials. I've been a long time reader though. I might be, who are you thinking of?
I thought you were CK for someone who had CK initials..
DeleteHe suggested it after he got home though not straight away so I still sort of agree with you. But like I said.. in the end it was my fault cos of lack of responsibility. I was stupidly overjoyed with the fact that I got an E for participation mark, which stood for excellent. I think everyone else got an S which was satisfactory. That made me very happy even though in the end the E and S did not make a difference in value of the mark.
The situation you've given me is pretty tricky.. I can only imagine a couple of times where I've been in that sort of situation but even then I'm still unsure what you really mean.
It would really help if you can give me an example, otherwise gut feeling sounds good.
There are other factors too.. but here's one of my situations.
I've put up an image of myself where I'm just a joke. People in school couldn't take me seriously and used me as a joke. They'd use me for some pedophile joke or something to get some laughs going around. Eventually I think it sort of got to me cos the image of me became really distorted. But even then I still went along with the jokes. It didn't matter that much because it was reasonable for those people to make those jokes, partially because it was my fault for creating that image and reinforcing it.
I guess I just went along with it cos after all it didn't matter to me in the end. The person who joked about me got their laughs and moments of attention.
What mattered more to me were the people who saw beyond that image and I focused on them (Tbh I actually don't think I've really found a person like this and I don't blame them. It's hard for people to understand each other). But there were two friends in particular whom I could joke around. They were the friends I knew that if I fell, they'd probably fall with me or help me get up (as cheezy as that sounds). I was really skeptical about everyone else.
And another train of thought that is somewhat related to what I've been saying but doesn't seem like so....
While I've been complaining about others changing. I think I've changed the most.