Yan Huo

是否还记得一起看烟火
我在你眼里看到闪烁
冷列的寒风把你吹向我
抱你在我怀里没想太多
爱情里的心动常常让我难以去捉摸
付出感情太多
原来多情人总被伤的最重
想起你的拥抱这感觉短纪念
在你我之间
有时说变就变
就像烟火下一秒消失不见
想起你的微笑这画面短暂纪念
放在心里面
你说过的永远
留在昨天就当它是我最美的纪念
我的心情今天已换了季
天边出现彩虹
晴朗阳光洒在我的天空闪烁
像是笑着告诉我爱到最后是宽容
还有你陪我走过这一切
记忆中你那些微笑的脸

约定

约定

The lyrics are so sweet :')

It was in 2004 that I first heard this song. I was lying on my cousin's bed whilst watching tv with him. It was some show called Nhac quoc te which translates to Music Around the World.

It was the first and was the last time I heard it that year and it wasn't until around two years ago that I came across this song again thanks to a person who is very special to me.

When I first heard it I don't think there were any emotional attachments.I felt rather plain watching it the first time.
Now the more that I listen to it and am able to get translations it somewhat means a lot to me.

Another one

Em là hạnh phúc trong anh

10:54

10:54
There's something special about that time. I can't put a finger on why it is. It just is.

An Achievement

I achieved something today and I told you. It meant a lot to me.

What was your answer? One word?

I really like to imagine myself studying hard from now on so that maybe in the future, I'll have the power to support the people I care about.

And I sit here, wondering what you think of all day.

我等你

我等你

Weeee

I think

I think I am happy :)

That moment

That moment when you look at an animal in the eye...

You wonder how it feels. What it sees. I don't know.

Then again it's the same with people too.

Con Gái

Mẹ tôi bảo em tôi là: Con gái phảy cười nhiều để người ta thích. Không được khóc tại vì sấu.

Bây giờ mình nghĩ mình đa sai.

Hmmm...

Finally

FINALLY!!

IT RAINS!

Sometimes I feel

Sometimes I feel:

"....................."

Hmmmmm

Do you trust me?













No.

When you don't like something about someone, you realise that it's your fault. Through others, we become ourselves. By disliking people, you begin to realise the things you dislike about them are the things you helped create in them. Are you entirely the one to blame? I hope not.

Close your eyes

Close your eyes,
Listen to the sound of the fan.
It's the sound of Vietnam.
When everyone takes a nap,
Together.
Family, Village, everyone.
Sleeping.

I'm waiting for you

After it comes, I will forget you completely. Not only sorrow,but including some sweetness as well. Wanna wait for you. Wanna prove to myself that I can hold you in my heart. And can also pretend that you’re only just a passerby on the street. Slowly spreading to the my bottom of my heart. You should already have admitted that you’re together with him.Without any consideration or hesitation. I just said that I’ll wait for you. I can see the constrain in your eyes. Even more are doubts. That’s why you left. Don’t believe that you will change your mind. It’s just me that’s stubborn to decide to wait for you. The tears in my eyes haven’t fall even a drop. Only following your shadow. Slowly spreading into my heart. I’ll wait for you. Half a year as the limit

风雨同路

风雨同路

You are the apple of my eye

Adolescence is like a heavy rain. Even though you catch a cold from it, you still look forward to experiencing it once again.
Everyone has those impetuous times, the time when every boy likes the same girl in class, rushing days with mischief and pranks.
Then, youth departed without a sound.

From the movie, "You are the apple of my eye"
I'm gonna watch it when I have time :D

Recurring

I was at Cabramatta once after tutor and I saw this stray cat. It was a windy day. It looked ill cos of its swollen eye. It came up to me and looked for shelter. I wanted to take it in but my dad wouldn't let me. He said that it would cost us money to cure its illness. We went to the car and he took some money to buy some lotto. That pissed me off.

We drove away and I didn't see the cat at first. I had thought that someone had taken it. He drove a bit further and I saw it again. It was in some dark place that provided it little shelter.

The next day it was school. I went to Cabramatta to find it but it was gone.

Now, I have these recurring dreams of cats. It wasn't the same cat but it acted in a familiar way. It'd come up to me and lick my face.

That's not really the point of this post though. It's my curiosity. I want to know everything. I want to know what happened to that cat. There's a million possibilities of what could have happened to it. And that links back again to real life. What happens to the people you love as life moves on? There's this really weird feeling.. not exactly guilt.. that you weren't there for them; the fact that you're not the one to take care of them.

Weird.. and although it pains me to think about that cat, I wouldn't mind having those kind of dreams. Sometimes you'd like to me in your own imagionary world. The dream could be your best or your worst.

I might stop blogging soon. I don't want to feed people a bunch of my crap. Yeah I admit it, this is a bunch of crap. I've fed people a bunch of crap and it's nothing more than crap.

Don't listen to me.

Another post

Another post soon. weeeeeeeee

A picture

Rain

Rain's really pretty.

It makes everything look so sad though.

But the clouds were really pretty. Dull but pretty.

The leaves drooped like a willow. Willows are pretty.

Everything's pretty.

A rat

My dad caught another rat today.
He's gunna drown it.
I had this sudden image of having no oxygen - missing that sweet air.
I just want to open the cage and let it go but I can't

Rats are pests but they're living things.
What do I do..

Life for me is so paradoxical. It sucks.

Mandarin Tree

Sometimes I go outside just to look at my garden.
I haven't done that in a while but today I did.

The colour of our mandarin tree really captured me.
I miss Vietnam.

The feeling

When I am loved, there is this gap inside me that is filled.
It's a gap that can only be filled by love.
And I am always so afraid to have that gap again.

Doubt

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

Lots to say

There's a lot I wanna say, but I will not.

But it occurred to me that I had this lingering thought in my head and it goes: "Religion is a way of controlling people".

So I question, what if religion is a way of cotnrolling people? A way of preventing people from enjoying life. Words are artifical and by that I mean what is right and what is wrong is artificial.

So here's a question for the readers. What if religion was a plan made up by a demon (whom we presume to be this mighty being)? And this "afterlife" we know is a place where our souls go, a place where we meet this demon whom would devour our soul.

Religion's real.. right? So what I say is real.. right?

Confused

I'm confused.. and when I look back.. I realise I'm the reason I am confused.

I'd like to say sorry.

Poems

Poems.. are a form of expression.
To me.. A poem is a feeling, something you're passionate about.
It doesn't have to be just passion.
One word's a poem. As long as it has meaning to you and you only.
Every word has its beauties.
English limits this. I can't explain, but it just does.

Tree

 

Notice anything in the last picture?

Sometimes..

Sometimes..
I look up to stare at the clouds and float away with them, forgetting this world.

Sometimes..
I look up at the trees and imagine that this world used to be a forest.

Sometimes..
Just sometimes..

Inuyasha: A Feudal Tale

And yet.. Inuyasha is just another tale.

A man

This world used to be Heaven,
Then it became Earth,
But now it's Hell.

That's besides the point of this post.
First of, apologies for not posting for at least a week.. I've been lazy and net was down for about 4-5 days. Now, onto with the post.

So.. I got my "L's". Frankly I'm quite worried about my driving abilities. I doze off a lot.. and that kind of dozing off might lead to some trouble. And when I do drive with my dad I'm worried more about him than for myself. My dad was literally grabbing onto his seat the first time I drove with him.

Before I actually started driving with my dad, he hired an instructor for me. Which leads to this post.
From car to relationships.. gee..

So I found the instructor really cool. I was quite surprised that there were Asian adults like him out there. He tells me his life story and asks me questions its cool.

He tells me how he came over when he was 10 I think? He told me the obvious stuff of course like how it was so different back then. He studied till 15 and was expected to be quite independent. He had to find a job etc. He told me how he loved his $2000 car so much and it was all very funny and interesting.

Then we came to the topic of relationships. He sort of shared the same view I do.
He asked me if I have a girlfriend etc, and then started telling about love: When you're young, you have so much energy. Use that energy now cos if you don't then you become old and you lose all that.

He tells me something like missing his younger self.. I mean who wouldn't. He missed playing hard to get, cos as an adult now it isn't the same. What is playing hard to get O_O.

Interesting stuff from an Asian adult :).

To end this post I leave a Vietnamese song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp5twJAO6Qw

Lyrics
Chuyện ngày xưa của tui,- Here's my story
nhà gần bên có cô bạn thân - there was a close friend (girl) that lived near me
Ngày tháng ấy ta như trẻ thơ, - we were very young then
thật đẹp biết bao!-very beautiful and handsome
Nàng làm thơ trao tặng tui,- she wrote a letter to me
đêm về tui viết những khúc nhạc - and at home I would write songs
Rồi ngẩn ngơ những lúc em tươi cười quên hết âu lo - and think of the times you smile I forget everything else
Thời gian trôi cứ trôi thật mao, - time went by very quickly
tình yêu tui lớn lên cùng em, - my love for you grew
mà tui không giám nói lời yêu với em - but I don't have the guts to tell you
Rồi một hôm em sang nhà chơi,- then one day you came over
em bóa tin em biết yêu rồi, - you told me that you know how to love
thật ngẹn ngòa khi em đã yêu người không phải tui. - it turns out that you love someone - not me.
Lòng tui đau thật đau khi thấy em yêu người ta - my heart ache so much seeing you love someone else
Chuyện tình mình bao lâu mơ ước đã tan theo gió trôi về đâu - all my dreams for us has gone lost with the wind
Ngâm nguồi thương cho tình tui, sao chỉ thấy héo úa tim sầu - (something about being in grief)
Chẳng được gần em, bên em như bao mộng ước đang giở dan - can't be next to you, I wish things were simpler
Ngày xưa ta gân nhau không giống như ta ngày nay - things are not the same any more.
Chẳng phải buồn cô đơn mong nhơ đêm đêm nhứt nhói như giờ đây - (something about dreaming at night)
người đã đi theo người ta chỉ còn lại kí ức phai nhòa - you have gone with someone else, leaving only fading memories
Chuyện một người yêu cô bạn thân thôi nay đành lỡ...... từ đây - the story of a girl that I loved.. beings here? o.o

Hating yourself

In life, the best thing you could do is to hate yourself.

I'm glad this has been one of my morals (if that's the right word).

When you make a mistake, blame yourself. And that's why life is full of regrets, well, at least mine is. Every time I look back, there's always a mistake. That's what being a human is after all. Still... others don't hate themselves I think. I just do.

And, the game of DotA just reflects on this idea. In DotA, if I lose a game, I look back and see what I did wrong. I try not to blame others unless it is that obvious. Well with life, it's the same. I can't blame any one but myself but unlike DotA, there isn't a second chance with most of these mistakes. There's only room for improvement.

It's the same with relationships. Every time I lose a person I love, I look back and see the mistakes I've made. They're quite obvious actually, and I don't know why I don't pick them out when I am during that relationship.

But I guess I've changed my views on relationships a couple of times.

These recent posts have been rather short.

Ihope the next one will be more interesting. I hope I can update this blog frequently, maybe once a day or sometimes once every two days. But to come up with these ideas.. I need to look up at the sky and dwell deeply. Wish me luck.

Welcome back

Hi I'm Henry, nice to meet you again.

Welcome back. Please stay.

Don't change.

And just a random Titanic quote.. I love that movie :'(.

Jack:
"Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count."

Teshima

This blog post is dedicated to a man called Teshima.

Teshima is the creator of a free arcade shooting game called Silver Knights.

I've stopped playing Silver Knights, but it was one of the few greatest games in my childhood. I used to wake up very early to play it and it somewhat got me very excited. My legs would jump every time I was smashing a button (don't laugh at me). And I remember my parents walking past each time, commenting on that bad habbit. I took control of it eventually.

Anyways, the whole point of this post is to thank Teshima and wish him the best of lucks. As you may have guessed already, he's a Japanese. He lives in Japan (don't say "no shit") and earthquakes have hit Japan so often in the past few years.

Silver Knights was Teshima's dream. He made it cos he enjoyed it. He would put it on hiatus now and then, but every six months or so he would come back to that "project" (the game is still in development but it's awesome).

It's been two years since the last update for Silver Knights. The last feedback that Teshima suggests that he will be getting back to it. As for the meantime, all us Silver Knights fans have our fingers cross.

I(we) hope that he has recovered from the problems.

Dreams have been destroyed, relatives have probably been lost. Good luck Teshima!

New start.. Perhaps

Ignore my previous posts if you can...

Anyways, I'm hoping for a fresher "beginning" for this blog :/. Warning though, it's still depressing.

So we were at Sydney today.. and I made the observations as usual.

But before that, I had to find a way to get there of course. What really interested me was the fact that my dad offered me a lift. It was sort of unusual. I don't talk to him much and he doesn't either and I hate myself for that. My mum said the other day that she's ashamed (not exactly the right word but somewhere around that line) of me cos I don't open conversations with them (my parents). And I thought that I would visit them in the future when I move out.. but what would I say to them.

I'm a bad son.

So my dad was driving me and it was all quiet. Normally, I would walk to the station but he offered me a lift. When I was about to get off the car, I wanted to say thank you for the lift and say bye like any good son in Vietnam would.

I didn't have the courage.

And that had made me thought of the time when I did do that kind of stuff. I'd say hello or bye to my parents formally everytime I leave or come home with an added bow. I don't do that any more.

Moving to Australia has been different. The expectations, culture and everything is so different. My mum says stuff like "Don't be like the kids over here, they're rude". And it's just so hard to be like that. Fitting in and all. I remember vaguely this one time when I came home from school in Australia. My mum asked me "Why don't you say hello and bow" and so I did as she asked. Before, I wouldn't have to be asked to do that. Now, I don't even do it at all.

So in Sydney there were bums on the paths holding signs asking for help and I felt helpless myself. Every life has a story behind them and it gets me thinking. Yes, this part does not make sense. But perhaps, the whole point of some of my posts are to get people to think each individual line and somehow connect them with the next line. They're merely fragments of my thoughts; there's just so much to say for me.

And then as we walked using the pedestrian lights or whatever, I noticed how crowded it was.

China here we come.

Sleep

Sleep is a way to escape one's life momentarily. It is as if you only escape it in the blink of an eye though.
It's a time when we blink to open our eyes to a new day, hoping that it would be better.
But within this blink, we have dreams, nightmares and that we must bear unless we want to wake up to a night which tomorrow has not started.

Then there's death.

That feeling

Anyone ever had that sudden feeling when they're all worried..

and then you have a heavy feeling

and then you feel dizzy.

Oh wait, no one's reading this blog.

Thoughts

Having suicidal thoughts is scary.

You think about all the grief that you'd create..

Then again, who would grieve over my death.

Hopefully, perhaps, there might be one person who might.

I don't know if they would anymore, nor would I believe any one else would.

After all, I doubt.

Happy new god damn another year.